“The Turquoise Green Angel with a Face of Yellow and a Mask of Blue” – free flowing brush strokes + brainstorming the name

An unexpected thing happened yesterday after I came back home from a run and visit of my friend. I looked at my turquoise green painting (The Turquoise Green Angel…) and suddenly realized, it was done. It was a bizarrely great feeling. I left the painting with a thought that there was still so much to do while I just needed to step away from it for a few hours and look at it with fresh eyes to realize that the painting was finished.

The whole left part of the painting I was not sure about somehow suddenly made sense. There are a few spots I still need to cover with paint though, but this work is just that, a cleanup. There are no major decisions to make, just to keep it the way it is and move my attention onto the next canvas.

The Interrupted Tea Party was becoming way too logical and constrained. I looked for meaning in every line. The Turquoise Green Angel was following the energy of The Interrupted Tea Party. I have all these little heads play parts of the big heads in the painting, so to go expressively with free flowing brush strokes and not to think if I am fitting inside of my lines was a wonderful reminder of how I should let my control go and dance emotionally with my brushes and paints. I needed that freedom in the painting, so this chaotic-storm-hit-or-caught figure became exactly what I needed to express in the fear of sexual intercourse I am portraying on the lower part of the painting. I am not sure if the figures I have painted are visible for others as clearly as I can see them, but that doesn’t matter anymore, because there is a plenty of space in the painting that is clearly defined by calm figures and faces to feast eyes on.

The caught-in-the-storm figure gets its first pencil lines on the center right of the canvas.

I love this freedom of expressive painting when you just let it go, trust your brush and follow with it your emotions. Most of my large paintings were painted like that. It also became clear to me that I need to spend some time on cleaning my lines and figures after I work like that. After I finish my clean up on a canvas I can go back into expressive emotional brush strokes.

Originally written on 11-11-17

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We had a conversation with J. while driving home. He asked me about my paintings. While talking to him I realized a few things about my work. One of them was to trust my gut feeling when it comes to creating. Another one involved my overthinking. I should let the overthinking go when my emotional creativity is involved. I have been “correcting” my lines many times because to me they seemed not “clean” enough. Then I also realized that those “unclean” lines are my favorite lines, because they show my immediate emotional movement with a brush or a pencil, so why not to leave them the way they are. They speak way more to me than the constrained lines I logically draw.

My red painting (My Mom as the Guardian Angel of Angels) is on my easel now. I feel like I should remove from my view the other canvases I have on my walls. It seems like that red is demanding my full attention. It doesn’t like to be distracted by other paintings. It is quite interesting to feel this way considering that putting out all of my other paintings and placing them around in my room helped me to finish the turquoise green painting which doesn’t have the name yet.

I would not like to be so obvious and use the word “penetration” in the name, because then people automatically would look for it on the canvas. It is quite clear to me that I painted a large penis entering one of the angel’s tushy on the bottom of the painting.

Should the name have something to do with the turquoise green color? Like “Passion in Turquoise?” But that’s again like calling the white “white.” The name I had for it (“Walking the Yellow Line”) doesn’t work for me anymore.

There is one character in the painting I know is inspired by the fog I see through my windows. Somehow that fog reminds me of Čiurlionis’ paintings. The painting I am thinking of has this large dark hill reflecting into the water which looks like a huge giant looking out of the water. There are two bright spots there which suggests somebody burning fire by the water. The fire reflects on the surface looking like the eyes of the giant.

I have a giant (fog) figure peeking out from behind all these heads on the left side of the painting. These pencil drawn heads create parts of the giant’s face.

The fog-like giant peeking behind the main angel with a face of yellow and a mask of blue on the left side of the canvas is watching the screaming caught-in-the-storm character on the right.

Maybe the name should have something to do with observation (“Observation in Turquoise”) or maybe “Watching” or “Looking” or “The White Angel with a Face of Yellow and a Mask of Blue?” I should say I kind of like a name like this, because colors in this case indicate certain emotional/psychological states like, yellow is usually a happy color (friendship) while blue is blue as in sadness or being clear and things like that. Turquoise green – blue and yellow mixed together. How about “Watching the White Angel with the Yellow Face and a Mask of Blue?” Something like that?

For some reason I still want to include “the turquoise green” and the word “penetration” in the name, but that could be the part I should edit out, because I am already too obvious with “The White Angel with a Face of Yellow and a Blue Mask.” I sure have plenty of “masks” in my paintings which also can mean “something to hide,” like “masking some areas from being visible.” At the moment “Watching the White Angel with a Yellow Face and a Blue Mask” makes sense to me and sounds about right. I am going to see how this name develops in a few days and if I like it as much as I do now.

Originally written on 11-13-17

“The Hooker’s Green Hue Dog” now shows me the face of Čiurlionis? + “The Interrupted Tea Party” – a party of lines and solid colors + to oil or not to oil

It is becoming quite “funny” how my Permanent Hooker’s Green Hue Dog with a Mask and a White Helmet (later The Hooker’s Green Hue Dog) is freaking me out when my blind spot hits it. Every time I look away from the painting I see a portrait of Nietzsche (which you already know) or Čiurlionis. Čiurlionis is probably still one of the most influential artists in Lithuania. No wonder he is engraved in my mind. If you are not familiar with Čiurlionis’ work, here is a link: http://ciurlionis.eu/en/painting/gallery/  

Mykalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis was an amazing artist who saw music as paintings. Most likely I am going to return to him as one of the artists who still influence my work. Ramybė (Serenity) (1903-4) by Mykalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis was an inspiration for one of my early oil paintings The Piercing Eyes (1997-8).

Ramybė (Serenity) (1903-4) by Mykalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis

The Piercing Eyes (1997-8), oil on pressed wood.

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It is really bizarre how our vision can trick us. The Hooker’s Green Hue Dog is next to my north facing window, about a foot away from it on the left side, so every time I look through that window, which is in front of my bed, I experience this blind spot trick. Last night it was happening so often that I considered removing the painting from the wall or switching the places with The Blue Angst which is on the other side of the same window. I think I am going to switch the paintings because it is distracting me. I need to keep my attention on N. or the Upside Down Cock (later it became The Interrupted Tea Party).

Čiurlionis (left) and Nietzsche (right), these two were appearing simultaneously while I looked indirectly at The Hooker’s Green Hue Dog on my wall.

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This morning while it was still not bright enough to see all the lines on the canvas, the red forms I worked on last night on The Interrupted Tea Party created another face which added a face to the non ending amount of faces I see on the canvas now. The appearances are fun and it is quite interesting to see how the removal of some lines is helping me to see what is hidden in the painting.

The small checkered parts almost became blue on The Interrupted Tea Party.

Funny, how I keep removing and adding back one line on the painting. If I told somebody about how long I spend contemplating on one line they would think I am crazy, but what do I care what people think, the line is captivating me right now and I am enjoying that bus ride with it.

It is interesting how the blue I am using on the canvas little by little is pushing out the red I started with. Right now I have more blue there than red. Well, it was not supposed to be a red or a blue painting. My friend N. made two lines, one red and one blue, so both colors are equally possible. I thought on using the red mostly and then adding the blue in the background. It seems like the painting is leading me where I should be with all these color choices.

Each form was carefully covered with the white for another color choice to be applied later on The Interrupted Tea Party.

Funny, I am still on that one line which I have removed previously. Well, let me work on the checkered curtain now and see if the line comes back. If it comes back, great. If it doesn’t, also great.

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There is a certain hesitation when I start thinking about working on large canvases. I guess that hesitation comes with the stress I make on “the importance” of the exhibition. This is some bullshit I need to get rid of. Big canvases demand a different approach. They demand a larger movement with my brushes, knives and whatever I decide on using. I am getting mentally ready for my work with oils on a larger scale.

My early works were created exclusively with oils even when the oil paint was not the paint you should be using.

Untitled (1998-7), oil on paper and pressed wood.

The oils might feel a little bit different and strange to work with right now after spending so much time with acrylics. Oils dry slowly and mix a little bit differently. The intensity of pigments is also something to pay attention to. There are more specifics to consider when jumping on the oil wagon. I guess all this shebang prevents me from diving into the work on large canvases sooner. Though I should start working on large pieces regardless. There are already two ideas that await my exploration. They don’t really demand to be created with oils, so whatever mediums come to my hands I am going to make them work for me. I am way ahead of myself with all this. I am working on The Interrupted Tea Party and there are two large paintings still waiting for me to be finished.

Originally written 10-24-17