I should pat myself on shoulder. I was able to get myself to do what I wrote I was going to do in my day planner. I should say that working more than three hours on a painting is just physically impossible. Well, “impossible” is not the word here, but okay I’ll go with it for now. I need to explain that “impossible.” The process of painting is intense, so often you tend to stay away for a large amount of time reflecting on what you have done. Naturally you find yourself away from the actual physical work for that time. Three hours of the intense work and about three more on paint drying, reflecting, character planning and all that shebang that comes with it is a full time job! There is not even a question about it.
Today for some reason I had a feeling that My Mother as the Guardian Angel of Angels is not done yet. Most likely I am going to introduce another color, because right now it just feels too flat having the red and the white interact on the canvas like that. I have nothing against the “flatness” of the image, but there is just something that I am missing.
There are a few spots that annoy my eyes a bit. I am going to keep my options open about what needs to be done with these few spots, because every time I work on another painting I realize what is missing in paintings I worked before the one that I have on my easel. This type of situation gives me the “away” time to reflect on my previous works. It allows me to truly comprehend if a painting is done. I become somebody who looks at my paintings as if I would be looking at somebody else’s work. An indication that one or another painting is done flashes in my mind when I find myself in a situation like that.
I am considering to hang my small paintings close to each other creating a large mosaic/collage of sorts. The beauty and versatility of this idea is in that you would be able to move canvases from one spot to another in some cases even turn upside down creating new story lines and connections between the characters portrayed in them. The Interrupted Tea Party is one of the paintings that you could topsy-turvy without loosing anything what’s portrayed in it.
For some reason my thoughts went to the Russian Drama Theater in Vilnius. I also found myself contemplating about how my experiences working with J. and other wonderful people in New York City thought me about things that are often not fully appreciated. I am a huge believer now that every actor needs to learn another skill to expand their versatility. Of course it is most useful when this skill or skill set involve or are close to the theater arts. Building sets or creating costumes, working at a theater café, designing fliers and posters could become very useful especially when you run a theater collective. Writing plays or at least dialog/scenes should become a part of the skill set for every theater artist. Some actors, for example, might perfect one or another skill and find themselves doing just that, more than acting. A lot of actors are going to do only acting, which is fine, but knowing how to build things you work with on the stage is very valuable. You start appreciating the work that goes into creating the whole thing.
Originally written on 12-16-17
And talking about improving myself, yesterday I started another painting. I’ve decided to rest from the previous one, because I feel like there is something that still needs to be done there, but I am not fully sure what exactly yet, so I am going to put My Mom as the Guardian Angel of Angels next to the others in the corner and let my eyes rest from it. Return to it later and see if it is really done.
I get this funny feeling while looking at my work now because of how I interact with colors. My relationship with them is “weird” and sometimes it could feel like my colors clash. I found myself thinking that this could be my thing.
I have started a painting and have half of a canvas covered with violet and the other half with phtalo green, so the effect is weird even for my eyes. At this stage it is too early to tell about how this painting is going to develop, because every time I take on a new color I get surprised by it. I continue discovering what one or another color holds in itself.
I like the fact that sometimes I find myself in a position of working with these weird colors which I don’t even know if I like and “discover” them for myself like an actor who through work on a new character in a new play which he might not even like at first discovers all these hidden gems and falls in love with all of it at the end.
Originally written on 01-14-18