My friend B. told me yesterday that I should have at least fifteen paintings to be able to exhibit in a gallery. This is great! Now I know the number so I know how many chapters my series of paintings is going to have. I should count how many chapters my novel has. I have a suspicion that the fairy tales and chapters I have in the novel might somehow influence the series of paintings, which is great. I like thinking like that.
I said to my cousin while discussing paintings/art: “nobody knows how your paintings should be painted or look anyway. Your weaknesses might become your strengths and your style.” So I am going to follow my hand and just have fun. I still remember though E. wondering if my paintings would change if I spent some time studying and sketching human body the way they do in art schools. The thing is if you are an artist you always study your visual interests, so you might not know but you are studying human body as well, sometimes indirectly. How else could you compare a tree branch and a human hand if not through that indirect study?
Yes, I get sometimes frustrated when one or another thing I paint doesn’t come the way “it should look,” but then I realize that the way it comes out is exactly how it should come out. Somehow my hand knows where to draw a line and put the paint. It leads me and if I become emotionally touched by what I see, I know it is good, because it makes me feel. If I feel, others are going to feel too. So the night I saw my mother on my red painting and got emotional I knew this is it. This is the path I am taking with this painting.
Originally written on 10-4-17