“My Mom as the Guardian Angel of Angels” – developing future characters

Today I put my red painting on my easel and let the sun and the shadows that were cast through my windows play on it. I realize more and more that this is how I want to display my paintings. The shadows of the leaves moving outside created this constant change. The slow movement of the sun changed the meaning of the painting with time. I don’t want to say that it created more drama, no, but there were certain elements in stopped frames on those little videos I’ve made when shadows created a certain effect that it seemed like the future characters on the canvas became alive and started moving or something. In any case I do love this effect and am keeping it in mind when considering my exhibition.

Moving shadows create possible future characters

A certain light which gives movement is needed to be cast on my paintings, so why not to cast a light that resembles sunshine with shimmering shadows the way I see it right now through my windows.

Just a few hot spots on the canvas make it come alive

Placing a light that would give strong lines or would lit only a certain area of a painting excites me.

Sharp contrast of light and shadows create additional layer of depth

Whoever buys my paintings should consider investing in lighting system to be able to get the whole effect from the paintings. I see quite clearly how there is a shimmering light happening throughout the exhibition. I guess this comes from my experience working in theater and film. I look for that perfectly fitting light to match one scene or another.

I realize that not all of my paintings are going to have this moving light. There are those days which have no movement in the air at all. On some canvases the light needs to be very contained without being spilled out of frame, almost like lit by square spotlight, equally distributed throughout, with no hot spots of any kind.

I am going to be fine with shadows created with artificial lighting too, because if, let’s say, the place where my paintings are exhibited doesn’t have any natural light coming through windows, crevices and what not, artificially created shadows still are needed. This would give a certain eeriness to my work as if they were once alive and now they are in some place where no sun comes in, almost like in some kind of bunker after a nuclear war or something where there are no humans left and all that survived are these silent paintings. Ha, I think more and more about the effect these moving shadows could give in a house or an apartment without windows. The spectators seeing these paintings would wonder where this light is coming from. How is it possible to see sun light coming out of windows cast on paintings when there are no windows which could cast a light like that? That is some good stuff.

I had to stop myself and take a few pictures because there was this single white line in the sky with no clouds and there was a bee crawling on the window screen and the sun was hitting the mouth of a sleeping character on the red painting.

A bee on the window, a single white line in the blue sky and some shadows cast on the canvas and surroundings

Yesterday while contemplating in front of The Red Painting I realized that the woman’s face I sketched on the canvas was my mother’s and somehow I got very emotional and had to touch the surface of the painting, my mother’s pensive and caring face.

My mom’s face developing from the white strokes center right

I also realized that the character which is appearing behind my mom’s face is sleeping with an open mouth as if knowing that my mother is going to protect him.

As I see it right now the painting has two different perspectives created by different characters. One perspective is created by the sleeping guy. It extends on that wing-like white surface. Another is created by this carrying face which is looking down and is in movement as if the character has stopped for a moment to check on the sleeping guy’s breath while passing by.

A more pronounced Mom’s face center and developing characters behind her

I am eager to see where all this is going to take me. I am approaching a hard part of the process. I need to decide on the materials and colors I use to define those characters. I know that I am afraid to mess it up, but somehow I need to trust myself and just accept that every mistake happens for a reason. Maybe I am not seeing what needs to be seen yet, pretty much like it happened while I was working on the painting which I call at the moment Walking the Yellow Line (later it became The Turquoise Green Angel with a Face of Yellow and a Mask of Blue)? I know, I know I am using the name of a chapter of my book, but I am doing it for a reason. These paintings have a certain connection to the fairy tales I wrote in the novel. So the red painting has something to do with my mother and me sleeping and being sure that my mom is going to protect me from all these monsters that could hide around.

Originally written on 10-3-17

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